“The 10 Second Kiss” - Create Your Own Rules
Trying to think of ways to inject a little energy and excitement into your relationship? Looking for ways to feel more connected to your partner? Do you want to avoid taking each other for granted?Whether you’ve been together for a while or whether your relationship is still quite new, there are plenty of proactive things you can do to help yourselves and make your relationship even better. And best of all you don’t have to reinvent the wheel on this one if you are stuck for ideas. There are numerous books and other resources out there to inspire you.
Early on in our relationship, and I knew we were meant to be together and were talking about how we were going to make the next 60 years great ones without taking each other for granted. At this point, Dan produced a book that he had heard about called The 10 Second Kiss, by Ellen Kreidman, Ph.D. It was said to be “the magical formula for passion, pleasure, and playfulness”. I was totally impressed. No guy I had ever known had even made a reference to a book on relationships, let alone actually read one. He lent it to me and I was immediately struck by the straight forward approach the book took toward to achieving a lifelong romance.
The chapters are titled rather simply, advocating among other things, “The 10 Second Kiss”, “The Five Second Compliment” and “The 60 Minute Seduction”. The content of each chapter gives clear, concise information about why seemingly simple actions in a relationship can have a HUGE impact on how you feel and how you partner feels. It’s really a great read. You should check it out. I know it's available at amazon.com (...and before you ask, no, we don’t have any stock in this book, we just like it) and of course at the library.
You might come up with some “rules” of your own for your relationship. For example, maybe it will become a rule for you to greet each other face to face, perhaps with a kiss or a hug, every time one or the other comes home for the day or after you’ve been apart for a while. True, it sounds simple, but for me I would much rather have a few minutes reconnecting with my partner than someone who basically ignores the fact that I have returned. I want my actions to help my partner to feel important and I want to feel the same way. Of course, if you have very young children, you may need to be a bit creative with a “rule” such as this, but it might be worth it to try.
In addition to other suggestions in this book, Dan and I are fans of the 10 second kiss idea. Admittedly we do not do it consciously every day (I’m so lucky, usually it just happens!), but now and then if it’s been a busy time, one or the other might suggest squeezing in a 10 second kiss as a quick reconnection. Let me tell you, it works every time!
Don’t feel helpless if you are trying to come up with ideas for re-energizing your relationship. Likewise, if you simply want to make sure your amazing relationship stays that way, don’t forget that many clever people have written great books to help you generate ideas for a fabulous relationship.
Happy Couples, Happy Planet!
posted by Heather and Dan @ 8:39 PM
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